English1223f2

Finally, the message of dealing with grief that is caused by one’s own personal choices is important because everyone makes poor decisions that can lead to suffering. In Sonny’s Blues, the narrator clashes with his brother Sonny over many issues simply because the narrator wishes Sonny the best possible outcome. He tells his mother, “Don’t you worry, I won’t forget. I won’t let nothing happen to Sonny.” (49). However, it seems that the narrator causes himself a lot of grief because he doesn’t seek to understand the ends which Sonny wishes to accomplish. For example, after Sonny tells his brother that he wishes to be a musician, “I somehow had the feeling that being a drummer might be all right for other people but not for my brother Sonny.” (49). He also goes on to say, “I sensed myself in the presence of something I didn’t really know how to handle, didn’t understand” (50). This shows that the narrator does not understand his brother very well. The narrator seems to feel that he knows what is best for Sonny even though he may not understand him. As a result, Sonny says, “I hear you. But you never hear anything I say,” (52). It sums up their whole relationship in a nutshell. The tension boils over when, as the narrator describes it, “So I got mad and he got mad, and then I told him that he might just as well be dead as live the way he’s living. Then he stood up and he told me not to worry about him any more in life, that he was dead as far as I was concerned” (54). The narrator’s hard-headedness causes him to suffer because he drives Sonny away when all he wants is what is best for Sonny. However, later the narrator and Sonny talk and the narrator says, “…something told me I should curb my tongue, that Sonny was doing his best to talk, that I should listen” (57). The narrator says later “I realized, with this mocking look, that there stood between us, forever, beyond the power of time or forgiveness, the fact that I had held silence – so long! – when he had needed human speech to help him” (57). The narrator finally understands that if he is to truly help Sonny in accomplishing his goals, he must listen in order to learn what Sonny actually wants to accomplish. This advice is relevant for everyone because, in relationships with friends, partners, or family, we can have good intentions yet hinder whomever we are trying to help because of our own faults. The narrator’s fault was his inability to listen, and because he tries to overcome it, Sonny helps him understand what is actually going on in his head.